I can feel myself slipping and I’m getting tired of trying to hold on.

If I could just let go then I won’t have to feel this way… Ever again.

It’s sad to say… But I’m falling again. And I’m falling faster than I ever thought was possible. I’m really starting to feel as if there’s no hope for me. I’m not scared anymore. I don’t feel like I feel anymore. This worst part is. I feel ready. I feel ready to end everything.

I don’t want to end it… I don’t want to leave everyone that I hold so near and dear… But it’s almost relieving knowing I wouldn’t have to feel this way ever again. Not even in the slightest.

I’m still crazy about you. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Can someone please just stab me in the eye with a pen.

Thanks.

I really don’t know what im doing anymore. I spun so far out of control that I ended up in what feels like some big black abyss. I honestly don’t feel like I have a heart anymore. Like I don’t deserve to be with anyone on an emotional level. I really just want to be happy. I really really just want to be happy again. 

I’m seriously so conflicted right now. It’s like I miss him, but I feel like I am better off without him. There’s more pros than cons, but the cons are so much worse than the pros were good. I don’t know what to think or feel right now. I’m happy without him, and yet, I miss him all the same. 

Perhaps I will ponder it more over some pizza later.

tromb0ne22:

I’ve got problems.

Read More

I have been trying to explain this to someone who thinks depression isn’t real… I suffer from both anxiety induced depression as well… I don’t go a day without worrying about the smallest things and getting depressed over the dumbest stuff.

I think I’ve realized why I’m so upset about this break up… Just simply saying “we were together for four years” just didn’t seem like enough… I think not only did he break my heart because I loved him… But he really hurt my feelings.

He’s found someone else. That was expected… But he NEVER in all our time of dating wanted to spend as much time with me as he does her. He never thought of me to be as great as her or as beautiful as her. THIS is why I feel so worthless… Because even though we dated for four years… I’m not half as amazing as she is…

I miss my Sam so much. I feel like half of me is missing… Well… I guess half of me is missing :(

Sam come home!

I appreciate all your kind words… But you don’t know the real me… The real me… Is definitely worthless..